There is no escaping change. We are each in a constant state of transformation as we travel through life, moving closer to death with every hour and day that passes. Daylight turns to night, as summer to winter. I am certainly no exception to this truth. I've moved house roughly every year since I was a teenager. I've worked in countless different jobs in countries around the globe, shedding identities that have become too small or ill fitting, trying on new ones that catch my eye in a perpetual motion of human re~creation. I've been headbanger, street person, accident victim, backpacker, corn de-tasseler, waitress, farm hand, bartender, alcoholic, market artist, raw foodist.... to name a few. This latest transformation is yet another shedding of skin, a new identity to try on. I could feel it seeding within me last year, taking root more fully on journeys to Scotland, to Portugal, and England. But first, a bit of background.
I graduated from my counselling studies in 2009 and spent a year or so creating what was to be my private practice. I thoroughly enjoyed the process of deciding how I wanted to present my new business to the world. I received feedback that I had a fantastic niche. I found a name and branding colours I felt aligned with, I designed a logo with a graphic artist, I came up with a tag line, poured many long hours into building my own website, moved to Victoria, advertised, rented office space, and in 2010 "Living Radiance Wellness Services" welcomed its first clients. Quite an accomplishment. I was proud.
Recently, some four years later, after several geographical shifts and many beginnings and endings, the outfit of "Living Radiance Wellness Services" was no longer what I wanted to wear. Like a once favorite dress, now hanging in the back of the closet, it just didn't feel quite right anymore. In 2009 I had been passionately pursuing a path of conscious eating and raw food, and my business had been viewed and created through this lens. It looked amazing! And at that time, it felt like it was exactly what I was about.... healthful eating and living, relationships with food, transition to a plant based diet.
What I found somewhat mystifying however, is that very few of the clients I attracted came to me because of food related issues. I held well attended conscious eating workshops and raw dinners, yet my counselling clients were coming for something else. My website was certainly impressive and my business cards clearly stated "Conscious Eating Consultant", but this identity of mine never really developed. It remained in its infancy. Over time I noticed some resistance when I gave out my business card. I wanted to do the counselling work, but secretly I hoped that no one would ask me to help them with their eating. I wondered if my inability to fully embrace this identity had ultimately hidden it from the world. So how was I to serve? What new identity was waiting to be birthed through me? When the Transformation Game came into my life last year, I realized that the inward nudgings toward something different were beginning to manifest outwardly. I knew I was in a process of transition, but what next, exactly? I alternately pondered this question and pushed it away. As I have learned, with any big change there is bound to be resistance.
I think my biggest resistance to this change was having to re~do my website. I visited it often last summer, gazing at the chosen images and remembering the hours I'd spent in creation. I would close the page and put it aside, still not quite ready to let it go. How was this familiar in life? How many other times had I held on to something long past the expiry date, hoping that I might have a miraculous change of heart and suddenly step into this job, or relationship with renewed passion and purpose? Nope. Like so many others, for whatever reason, this chapter was just done. It had taught me what it was meant to and I had learned all I could. I would be taking the essence of "Living Radiance" with me, while I opened to its new expression. But I couldn't force the shift. Transformation must come in its own time.
When I returned from a training and powerful pilgrimage to Europe in late September, I could feel that I was ready. I sat down at my computer and became curious about what wanted to happen. I breathed, I wondered, I mused.....then in one electrifying moment, I let go.................. I found new colours that excited me and fonts that flowed. I added new images that seemed to speak to what was moving within me. Effortlessly it came together. Gradually the old green and orange website transformed into what you see today........ Ahhh!! Hitting that publish button was like what jumping off a very high cliff must feel like; intensely frightening and invigorating at the same time. Empowering too, for if I can jump off this cliff, what is stopping me from jumping off the next, and the next...? (Admittedly, I am a bit of an edgewalker, and hanging out on cliffs is something I've spent a lot of my time doing. Alas, that is another story.........................)
So I give you the newly born "Living Radiance", website and offerings of Treena Norrish, Transformational Counsellor and Facilitator. It seems perfect for me, doesn't it? Perfect for now, anyway, I write with a grin. And as I sit with that last line I am reminded that whilst it can be exhilirating and yes, necessary, to make big changes, there is also something deeply gratifying and purposeful in committing to a chosen path and really staying with it. Committing despite urges to run, or jump, or rip off that now uncomfortable outfit and haul it to the thrift store. I believe it needs to be a bit of both. And that feels mature of me to say. Committing while at the same time surrendering to change. This is my practice now.
Perhaps my life is my personal Transformation Game. Will I surrender and trust as the mysterious unfolding of divinity and destiny moves me along my path? How do I prepare, not knowing whether today will hold insights, or setbacks, or a bit of both? And what's my intention for play? The freedom I have found within the sometimes dizzying spin of the transforming motion is that there is something at the core of it all that doesn't change. While I whirl and twirl through transitions and identities, moving through decades and countries and relationships and jobs, sometimes at a speed which seems frivolous, I'm grateful to be in touch with a deeper Truth. This place of Truth is an inner presence that witnesses all; the elation, the sorrow, the magic, the ache. So, when Treena swears she can't make the decision or feel the grief or move through the pain, when she doesn't believe she's worthy, or when it's too frightening to commit and running seems like the only option, this Presence reminds her that at the same time as nothing is okay, everything is always okay. Ah, what a paradox. And what a sweet relief.
~Thank you for reading! Please visit the other pages on my website to see all of my new offerings. And, stay tuned for more on my journey to Portugal for the "Transformation Game Solo Training".